Savin' Grace
Sunday, April 17, 2011
Friday, April 15, 2011
Modest Mouse - Missed The Boat
"Missed The Boat"
While we're on the subject
Could we change the subject now?
I was knocking on your ear's door but you were always out
Looking towards the future
We were begging for the past
Well we knew we had the good things
But those never seemed to last
Oh please just last
Everyone's unhappy
Everyone's ashamed
Well we all just got caught looking
At somebody else's page
Well nothing ever went
Quite exactly as we planned
Our ideas held no water
But we used them like a dam
Oh, and we carried it all so well
As if we got a new position
Oh, and I laugh all the way to hell
Saying yes, this is a fine promotion
Oh, and I laugh all the way to hell
Of course everyone goes crazy
Over such and such and such
We made ourselves a pillar
We just used it as a crutch
We were certainly uncertain
At least I'm pretty sure I am
Well we didn't need the water
But we just built that good God dam
Oh, and I know this of myself
I assume as much for other people
Oh, and I know this of myself
We've listened more to life's end gong
Than the sound of life's sweet bliss
Was it ever worth it?
Was there all that much to gain?
Well we knew we missed the boat
And we'd already missed the plane
We didn't read the invite
We just dance at our wake
All our favorites were playing
So we could shake, shake, shake, shake, shake
Tiny curtains open and we heard the tiny clap of little hands
A tiny man would tell a little joke and get a tiny laugh from all the folks
Sitting drifting around in bubbles and thinking it was us that carried them
When we finally got it figured out that we had truly missed the boat
Oh, and we carried it all so well
As if we got a new position
Oh, and we owned all the tools ourselves
But not the skills to make a shelf with
Oh, what useless tools ourselves
Make me believe
Every day that we spent but
That one night you did me wrong
Led me on, same old song
All my girls say make him pay
Kick him out, let him stay
I'm so confused and misused
I feel abused, so abused
And I'm not talking about would I, should I, could I
And I'm not talking 'bout the things I should've did
And I'm not talking about would I, should I, could I
And I'm not talking 'bout the things I should've did
Make me believe that you'll stick around for good
Make me believe that I'm not misunderstood
Make me believe, make me believe, make me believe
I'm not buying what you're selling, quit with all the lies you're telling
Make me believe that I'm not just all your dream
Make me believe that you're not just full of it
Make me believe, make me believe, make me believe
I'm not buying what you're selling, quit with all the lies you're telling
You wonder why this girl won't answer
When you call and romance her
You're so amazed that I don't pay
You attention these days
All my girls say he's just there
For the ride, he don't care
So come on, one on one
Here's your chance prove them wrong
And I'm not talking about would I, should I, could I
And I'm not talking 'bout the things I should've did
And I'm not talking about would I, should I, could I
And I'm not talking 'bout the things I should've did
[ From: http://www.elyrics.net/read/a/angel-taylor-lyrics/make-me-believe-lyrics.html ]
Make me believe that you'll stick around for good
Make me believe that I'm not misunderstood
Make me believe, make me believe, make me believe
I'm not buying what you're selling, quit with all the lies you're telling
Make me believe that I'm not just all your dream
Make me believe that you're not just full of it
Make me believe, make me believe, make me believe
I'm not buying what you're selling, quit with all the lies you're telling
Boy you won me over, another Casanova
Now I'm gonna show you while I'm messing with your head
Boy you won me over, another Casanova
Now I'm gonna show you while I'm messing with your head
Messing with your head, messing with your head
Messing with your head
Make me believe that I'm not just all your dream
Make me believe that you're not just full of it
Make me believe, make me believe, make me believe
I'm not buying what you're selling, quit with all the lies you're telling
Make me believe that you'll stick around for good
Make me believe that I'm not misunderstood
Make me believe, make me believe, make me believe
I'm not buying what you're selling, quit with all the lies you're telling
Boy you won me over, another Casanova
Now I'm gonna show you while I'm messing with your head
Boy you won me over, another Casanova
Now I'm gonna show you while I'm messing with your head
Sunday, July 11, 2010
Just Takes A Little Time

Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Run, dude, RUN!
Watching and waiting to see what transposes.Sunday, February 08, 2009
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Saturday, November 29, 2008
Life can throw you for a loop
I'm trying to get my shit together, pay some bills and buy a house. "now's the time!" my mom tells me. The liar (my lawyer) has sucked me into settling that (YES! it's been 5 years in case anyone was wondering.) lawsuit against Allied Insurance for 46K. Of which there will be payouts and his take, netting me $25K! Not enough. Not enough for the 5 years worth of interest on the old bills, not enough to really do shit with but spend frivolously. My medical bills are $23K. Have to pay those off. Pay off some other stuff.
But one thing weighs on my mind. If the man I'm with is able to handle a house, my kids, his kids, his bills, all that which goes with owning a home? I don't know. He says he is. He says he's ready to make this commitment. But men have told such things to keep me happy. I only find out later that it was bullshit. That they were in it for their gain and my demise. I've run that risk many times. I was taken for everything I had. Everyone knows in this world it takes two incomes to survive. If I'm to go head long into the abyss of home ownership, I want to know he's in it for me. He's in it for us. Not for himself. I want to know he loves me. That he would stand by me in anything. And I too, would stand by him. This is what I want. This is what I seek. Someone to be with me through everything. And will stay with me no matter what happens. Cuz life can throw some crazy shit at you. Sometimes it can make you crazy. But it's all worth it in the end.
The man I'm with makes me really happy. We had a recent bump in the road, but he emerged from it a stand up, honest guy. A true man. They all told me they were "real men". I only found out latter that was a fabrication so very far from the truth. Just for the record:
Real men don't cheat on their woman.
Real men don't lie.
Real men stand by their woman and their convictions.
Real men are the rock in which their loved ones can turn to.
I never dated a "real man" before. He's got a whole lot on his plate when it comes to me. I have a lot of irons in the fire. I hope he's not fabricating his view of his own "real man". Only time will tell if he is or not. I love this man. I want to buy a house with him, I want to pull a life together we can both be happy with for years. I want to grow old on the porch with this man. And he does too. I have to sit back and wait. To see if his convictions are true and if he's true to me and himself. I will always have love for this man, I can feel it. I will always truly adore this man. For him to be my life partner, I have to see what befalls us in the years to come. If it goes that long. I have my doubts. Put there by previous "real men". I do not hold him accountable for their actions, but at the same time I am cautious. I have to protect myself and my family from fakery, deceit and indecision. Thus protecting myself.
Only time will tell how much this love, devotion and fidelity mean to him.
J. Grace.
Saturday, November 22, 2008
Friday, November 21, 2008
What can I say.......
Fool me once, shame on you.

Fool me twice, shame on me.
There's no third time.
I may seem innocent and naive. I assure you, I am not. I may not react in ways you think I would in certain circumstances. I assure you, I don't. I'm what they call...intuitive. I'm sensitive in many ways. I understand without being told. And your actions are speaking differently from what you are saying.
I'm so disappointed. Too many things have come to light for me in the last few days. When things become so vivid, it's too hard not to call attention to them. Otherwise, things can tend to be blown out of proportions. And when left with no reasonable explanation or given excuse after excuse, my mind can start to make shit up.
Well I'm finding myself makin' shit up. But it's almost too many things to ignore or shove under the rug. I don't think I can deal with another one. I think this will be the last. I'm too old for this high school shit. (See "ever get the feeling
someone's lying to your face"). This one is gonna hurt. This one is gonna devastate me for a while. Once again, I got used up trying to be loved unconditionally. We'll see how this plays out. I'm not gonna do anything right now. I'm gonna let the accused become the guilty without lifting a finger. But know this.....it won't be a long wait. Nobody knows what I am capable of. Only I do. But once it's done, it's done for good. There's no coming back from this type of betrayal, if it is true. There are eyes everywhere. And it took a dream to wake me up. I think it's over. I think for all intent and purposes, it's done. I can't save it now. It's gone beyond the point of return. It's so sad it had to go this way. There's really no reason for it then utter greed and selfishness. I should have known.I guess I did. Being I was reluctant to start it up in the first place given my experience previously. I knew it would go like this. From here on out I vow, NEVER AGAIN THE TWINS. I guess I had to see if it could have worked. But I see now it won't. And not because of lack of enthusiasm on my part. But for the choices made by another.
I will survive. This is another learning experience, I can feel it. I'm just getting closer to the person I want to become. Not what the circumstances or devastation wants me to be. It's out there, somewhere. My bluer waters. My deeper oceans. And my clearer streams. I can feel that too. In the midst of my angst and sorrow. So maybe it's not that bad. I will get through this. I've learned how tough I can be. I've learned how not to remain in a state of remorse and regret. Only to stay pissed off to get what needs to happen, happening.
Wanting forever in your eyes. I fall so easily. Just when I thought this was it. This was the one. I could stop looking. I could fall into it all and I could've been happy, content. Tiss not to be. It had to go there. I knew I was in for a broken heart. I knew I was in for stupid shit. But I listened to your words, your inspirations, your dreams and I took them to mean they were real. This is what you wanted. You words mean shit. I don't want to hear them anymore. Lies. Lies. Lies. It's going to be hard to look at your face. It's going to be hard to hear your voice. I'd rather not because the more you talk the more I want to believe. I wanted to believe. The facts out weigh the belief now. So I can't, you see?
JGrace.
Monday, July 28, 2008
I'm a catalist for others to excell

So here I am again. Waiting for the inevitable. The same ol' shit. Too afraid to commit, too afraid to fly, too afraid to stand up and be heard. Why is it someone else's fear puts my life on hold? I am never afraid
Monday, January 28, 2008
3 Months is a long time
months ago I was broken hearted, lost and sad. I felt I had made a connection with someone, someone who couldn't reciprocate his feelings. They were there, we both felt it. There was no denying it for either of us. Alas, he had to return to his life before. With my heart in my hand, I began to heal. Though I miss his personality and his sparkle, I know this wasn't his choice and I came to terms with all of my emotions. Now stronger and able to move on. I realized he opened me up for someone else. He showed me I was capable of attracting a beautiful heart and a solid minded man. I will never forget him. But I would like to thank him someday.
I've ever experienced before. He can see on my face something bothering me. He pays attention, he's loving and he has a beautiful soul. I can't wait to see him everyday. I can't wait to kiss him everyday. He makes my heart light and my soul complete. We have so much in common. Spooky stuff. I hope it never ends. When we're together, we don't want to be apart. When we're together, we look into each other's eyes just to look. We don't say anything most of the time, but we'll sit there and stare at each other. He amazes me in the things he does. He's so beautiful and brilliant, I almost think this is a dream. Only a few months ago, I was in despair. He was like a light. We both say we're lucky to have the other one. I could see myself married to him for many years to come. Happily married. EWWW! Did I say that out loud? GAWD! But we both feel like we've known each other for longer then 2 months. Like we've known each other forever. I feel loved and wanted and adored. I feel like this is so real, so right. We talk for hours about nothing. I'm in love with this man. Thank you my shy Texas guitarist. I will always think about you. Peace be with you as it is with me.Sunday, October 14, 2007
Just Living the Dream, Baby.
a blistful slumber when all of a sudden I hear the piercing whine of a chain saw very close. I look at the clock and it's 8:30! FUCKING ASSHOLE! Aren't Sundays meant for rest and relaxation? Not to mention how RUDE this is to subject all of his neighbors to this high pitched, squeeling buzzing noise for probably most of the day. But to start at 8:30 in the morning? On a Sunday? Clearly this fellow is an asshole and only thinks of himself. Isn't there some sort of law governing what time of day is appropriate to start makin' noise? Shouldn't I be allowed outside silence or effort there of, till 10am on the weekends? I mean really. Maybe I'm just pissy. Espically since I was so rudely woken up, I think I have a valid reason to be just a little pissy. People, be kind to your neighbors. Cuz this just sucks. And ya, he's still at it. At one point, earlier, I could clearly hear him say...."whadda ya think?" And I loudly proclaimed; "I think you shoulda started at NOON!". Asshole! Saturday, September 08, 2007
And it's Harder as Anything Else
years. Never laughed so hard in my life. I could do this for the rest of my life. And not even feel the years go by.
Yes, baby......I could do this for the next 30 years with you.
Your hand on my skin was so warm. Your hand caressing my skin awakened every nerve. My heart would stop with just your touch. I'd hold my breath. I could rest my head on your chest forever. I wanted to heal your wounds and protect you. That face, those eyes, all that blond hair. Just sing to me baby. I could run my hands over your body forever. I could run my fingers through all that hair, soft blond hair. I could kiss those lips forever. I can feel you from far away. I'd rather feel you close by. I have to wait. I have to see. Were you really here for me? Not intentionally. But accidentally. So very briefly. You touched me baby. I left your arm there. I felt I was protected, instantly at ease. I still don't know why we slept that way. I so wanted to curl up next to you. But that song, that damn song. Touched me so far down, though I've not known you long, I'm not sure how you did it. I don't fall that fast, I'm guarded and cautious. You went right though me. Past all my defenses. I'm blown away. Floored. It's harder as anything else. Showed me a glimpse. Timing's off, things need to be done first. Things need to be in order. I knew this going into it. You have much to do. If this is a possibility, things need to be in order. Was that for me? I dunno. Don't do this on my account. Do what you need to do then see h
ow your heart feels. Just talk to me baby. It's hard as anything else. Before you left, I held back my tears. You'd look at my eyes and I'd have to turn away. Showin' you that poker face and not the tears welling up behind my eyes. I'll wait but not forever. I can't. I'll never forget you and I'll always wonder what could have been. Come back to me baby and we'll pick up where we left off. Like a continuum. If it's meant to be, you'll return. Things seem emptier now. Take care of yourself baby. Someone missed you before you even left the driveway. Someone was crying before you ever left. Hard to hide my tears and the sadness at the chance I'll never lay eyes on you again. I may never get another chance. That's the hardest part. But I understand. It has to be. It's harder as anything else to let you go and keep my poker face.....and if you never return, I'll miss you always. Until our paths cross again love. I'll miss you terribly. I'll miss your kiss, I'll miss your touch, I'll miss your caress, I'll miss your beautiful blue eyes and your laugh. I miss you already. Seems like you took part of me with you. And not just my suitcase. This is so much harder as anything else. I'll think about you and all the good times we had together. That last night, going through the crowd. I Goodbye for now, love.
J. Grace
Modest Mouse "Baby Blue Sedan"
Sunday, June 10, 2007
Selzer/Sierra Sunset Experience
The following was taken directly from Selzer Realty's Property Management web site:
Property Management
RENTING? LEASING? If you want to rent a personal residence, lease commercial office space, or hire a property manager for your rental property, Selzer Realty offers a full-service property management department. Our full-time manager works with a large, professional staff, managing and maintaining a wide variety of rental properties. They will be happy to show you what is available or discuss the management of your property.
*Tenant Screening
*24 Hour Emergency Service
*Rental Collections
*Knowledge of Rental Trends
*Evictions
*Development & Placement of Vacancy Advertising
*Automated Payments of All expenses including Taxes, Insurance and Loan Payments
*Volume Discounts with Local Suppliers
*Licensed Contractors or Full Service Maintenance Crews covered by Worker's Compensation
*Regular Property Inspections
*Property Management Office
Visit Selzer @ http://www.realtyworldselzer.com/default
They forgot to add a few things to this list....
*Ignore all "acquired" tenants regardless of their stated income, except for when rent is due. (3x's the rent with SPOTLESS credit! Medical leans count in their book! All this for some piece of shit apartment! Am I buying or renting here????)
*Lagging on all repairs (Over a year to replace a 20 year old dishwasher!)
*We will keep most if not all of your tenant's deposits! (Regardless of how the place looked upon new tenancy.) And take up to 4 months to return deposits.
*Astronomical hourly wages ($25.00 an Hr.) given to repair men after you terminate vacancy, but repair men are paid $12.00 an hour while their fixing your apartment. Thus SAVING money and putting repair men's wages on vacating tenants.
*Repair men will damage apartments, then nail tenants with repair costs later. Saving even more money to get your crappy apartment restored so you can charge more rent on the new tenants!
FUCK YOU SELZER REALTY!

J. Grace


